Odeon/UCI back down in Alice in Wonderland dispute
The news that Odeon had refused to show Alice in Wonderland was discussed earlier this week, dependent on your viewpoint the good/bad newsis that the cinema chain announce today that they now WILL be showing the Tim Burton remake after an agreement was struck between the two parties. Full story here.
Cooper chooses another hangover over war
Bradley Cooper has pulled out of This Means War, a rom-com directed by McG and also featuring Reese Witherspoon. Initial reports suggest that Cooper pulled out because of scheduling conflicts between this and The Hangover 2, not because the plot of This Means War sounds pants.
New Nightmare on Elm Street Trailer
Looks pretty pointless and in parts looks like a shot for shot remake. Also features the most ridiculous villain voice since The Punisher.
A shortlist for Paranormal Activity 2 directors is announced….
…. and there is one definite surprise in Brian De Palma. While I would be interested to see what the Scarface director would come up with, my inclination is with Brad Anderson, the director of two fantastic films Session 9 and The Machinist (possibly Christian Bale’s best performance). Full shortlist here.
Marlon Wayans on playing Richard Pryor
This is something I am completely on board with. While he was in the Scary Movie series, White Chicks and Little Man, it’s easy to forget he was also fantastic in Requiem for a dream. I had him down on my list for “Actors We Could Make Great” and I think this could be the film to do it. In this article with the LA Times, Marlon defends some undefendable films, talks about getting the role ahead of Eddie Murphy and discusses why Pryor deserves a film about him. Note: White Chicks and Little Man grossed $215 million in total and a White Chicks 2 is on the way.
Zach Galifianakis is a miracle worker!
He must be, he carried everyone in The Hangover! Galifianakis is set to star in a supernatural buddy comedy (might sound like a made up subgenre, but check out the fantastic The Revenant when it finally manages to get released – makes Shaun of The Dead seem as funny as Epic Movie). Will be good to see ZaGa (it may catch on if I use it enough) shake his comedy muscles and no doubt I will be completely onboard by the time a director is announced.
Wow! Who saw this coming?!
Cinema chain Odeon & UCI Group, the largest cinema chain in the UK, has announced that it will not be showing Tim Burton’s take on Alice in Wonderland. This announcement is a reaction to Disney’s plan to cut the time between the cinema and DVD release to only 12 weeks, down from the standard 17. At writing, there are no plans by other cinema chains to follow suit.
This is a massive call by Odeon and they are sure to lose a lot of cinema takings down to this move. Maybe it is just a threat to try and get Disney to retract their plans for fear of harming the $150 million remake, but trying to call The Mouse’s bluff is a risky game. While Disney claims the plan to reduce the showing time is not the shape of things to come, Odeon obviously sees this as a threat to the future of the medium. Ironically, the premiere of the movie is still to go ahead in Odeon Leicester Square!
While the stakes are obviously high it will be exciting to see the takings for the movie (obviously with 3D premium to top it up) as somehow there is still demand for Tim Burton remakes after the offensively terrible Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, also starring Johnny Depp. Maybe the chain is hoping for higher returns for films such as Legion (due out the same day as Alice in Wonderland), Green Zone, Shutter Island et al to accommodate for the loss.
Disney has chosen this shorter window allegedly to boost DVD sales. The question remains on how well a 3D movie will look on the small screen and whether the 2D will be lacking from the 3D version. Secondly it reeks of desperation – surely a film that is good enough on it’s own merits will get people going to the cinema and then buy it on DVD when it is released.
So what do you think of Odeon’s decision? Is Odeon/UCI cutting off its nose to spite its face? Is it fighting a losing battle with Disney? Does it have a right to expect a return on its investment in 3D screens? Or, do you think Disney is the distributor and should call how long a cinema is allowed to show its movie?
Apologies for the horrendous use of colons in that headline, in penance this week we present our mind-shattering remake of 2001: A Space Odyssey…
Tom: we’ll do 2001 next 😛
John: i’m not sure i like you any more
Tom: first thing we do….remove all ambiguity
audiences dont like to think
John: so it’ll be the first film released with the director’s commentary as part of the overall sound mix
the film needs a lot more work than that
where are the A-list actors?
where is the CGI?
HAL is fine, but he needs an evil face
John: you’re pushing me tom, you’re testing our bond
Tom: also what the fuck is a Space Odyssey? no one knows. We’ll call it 2001: A Space Adventure
well it’ll have to be 3001 since 2001 is a little dated
3001: A Space Adventure!
John: but then some people might assume it’s based on the book 3001: A Final Odyssey
Tom: with the exclaimation mark as mark as part of the title
like anyone reads these days
John: people will have to read our script though
or is this pure improv?
as long as i can retain the rights to the lunchbox merchandise on this project then you can do what you like
Tom: with actors like Paul Walker, David Arquette and Chris Klein in the lead, who needs a script?
Tom: AND despite it being a little weird, we’re keeping the big baby at the end
played by Billy Zane
the investors will be on board because of the big monkey battle at the start
John: this is starting to sound like planet of the apes
planet of the apes: in space
Tom: funny you should say that. we’ll just use longshots from the tim burton film for that
no one saw it and it’ll save money
John: and then the apes battle the fierce HAL for control of the universe?
Tom: the monkeys will have to speak too
Brian Blessed is the head gorilla
John: monkeys + robots = cashprofitmoney?
Tom: i won you back with that one
John: you always win me back with monkeys
if it works on hard-nosed film investors then it’ll definitely work on a sap like me
i want to get Calvin Harris to do the soundtrack
Tom: every 10 minutes there needs to be an action beat
open with the monkey battle
the last monkey standing throws the bone up in the air
people expecting it to cut to a spaceship
it cuts to a freaking laser rifle
huge laser rifle battle
then main character wakes up
it was just a dream
which proves our movie is so badass, people dream action set pieces
John: or maybe our main character is secretly a laser rifle-toting ape in a past life
Tom: you seem desperate to tie the apes from the start of the movie with the rest of it
John: but where’s the link?
audiences don’t like ambiguity, you said it yourself
Tom: i dont know
they just saw an epic monkey battle
but fine…we can make HAL the disembodied brain of the last surviving ape after that battle
all the other apes are dead
turns out this surviving ape was behind every one significant event on earth
he shot Kennedy
erm. invented velcro
and then becomes a mass computer brain
John: i think you’ve gone mad with power
you need to calm down
Tom: hey i was happy to leave the ape battle seperate. this is the only logical way how we can tie it into the rest of the movie
John: ok fine
can we also have a bad CGI John Colicos saying to the camera at the end “deep down we’re all a bunch of monkeys”
Tom: wow thats a sucker punch
John: roll credits
not a dry eye in the house
everyone is giving us money
Tom: dont know what to do about those monoliths
they seem irrelevant to the story so maybe remove them
no one will miss them
John: or make them into massive orbital cannons
HAL invented them
Tom: well thats works too
also HAL can have two robotic henchman, called Stanley and Kubrick, for a nice in-joke
John: won’t that involve a level of intelligence on the part of the viewer? i’m deeply troubled by a movie that starts out simply to entertain the audience with a massive monkey laser fight only to have a somewhat subtle in-joke later on
Tom: well you have to please the original fans too
John: i don’t think any of this will even remotely please the original fans
i feel that we may have to go into hiding
Tom: as a comprimise, we’ll still call it 2001: A Space Odyssey
so they know what we’re trying to do
John: that’s somehow worse
but i like it
can we have a scene of someone being put into a rubbish bin and thrown down a hill?
this is the only thing i feel the film is missing
what’s a space odyssey without a man in a bin
Tom: the bad guy will have to do that ‘Taking out the trash…the SPACE trash’
John: bin rolls slowly down the hill and exploooodes
cue Calvin Harris
Chris Klein rolls in on a trained ape
defeats HAL somehow
Arquette and the other guy help a little
someone is singing
HAL is singing to Chris Klein
Klein weeps and turns on Arquette and the other guy
Calvin Harris gets louder and appears on screen
HAL and Klein destroy everything
i want my money now please
Tom: i have a huge problem with this
drama, intrigue, sexiness
Klein riding a monkey
Tom: when i see the poster for ‘2001: A Space Odyssey- A visionary reimagining of a Stanley Kubrick movie’
i dont want to be looking at just apes and Chris Klein. that’s a bit homoerotic
i want to be looking at MEGAN FOX
and some other talented actresses
wearing skimpy space suits
John: let’s get Elisha Cuthbert in then
i want my bin scene though
it can be a real bin too. a nod to the lack of CGI used in the original
that’s two winks
John: i feel you’re playing a risky game here
Tom: we need a video game too. for the monkey battle, it can use the LOTR: Conquest engine
John: i’m off the project, you lost me at that one
going to call time on this one, here’s your last chance. what’s the tagline on the poster going to be?
‘a remake of a film that time (and space) forgot’
John: good luck with this