There have been a few times when Tom and I have wondered how easy it must be to make a film these days. Quite often we can have little brainstorming sessions wherein we create masterpiece after masterpiece so we decided to start sharing these little exchanges. Starting from today The Movie Overdose is proud to present a new series of articles that will give you a glimpse into the wonderful world of two of potentially the most awful film producers ever…
This week we present to you a bold re-imagining of Andrei Tarkovsky’s seminal science fiction masterpiece, Stalker.
Tom: still could have done with a bullet-time gun battle with aliens at the end
wonder if Paul W.S. Anderson has thought about remaking it
John: you live to torment me, don’t you tom?
Tom: Woody Harrelson as the Stalker (as that Russian guy reminded me of him)
John: i’ll give you that one
nic cage as the Scientist
Tom: now you’re on board!
John: not sure about Writer
Tom: he can die early on. The Zone can be filled with literal traps. maybe he steps on a disintegration bomb
it’ll be called Stalker: Get In The Zone
John: yes yes yes
like Cube but in a field
Tom: yeah. with a bit of Labyrinth
set it in the US. no one knows where Russia is these days
Tom: also the scientist is evil and he wishes to transform into a CGI monster
John: stalker’s wife Charlize Theron follows him into the Zone
also, the meat grinder is an actual meat grinder
everyone is telekinetic in the zone
Tom: it has to be guarded by some creatures too
John: bad shadow creatures like the stuff out of The Darkness
i’ve got it
the zone is the result of an experiment with alien technology GONE WRONG
the person now in control of the zone is an evil scientist
ladies and gentlemen
Tom: AND the Stalker was one of those aliens but got amnesia. that’s why he knows the terrain so well because HE WAS BORN THERE
John: he’s also dead
like a thetan
got to get some kind of Scientology slant in there somehow
Monica Bellucci has joined the likes of Nicolas Cage and Jay Baruchel in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, the story of a young man with job noted in the title who is left to look after a magic workshop when his master leaves him in charge. The apprentice, being played by Baruchel, will have a broom do the majority of his chores until this cushy arrangement is broken when the broom takes on a life of its own.
The Sorcerer will be played by Nicolas Cage, fresh of a run that no one would ever envy in the terrible likes of Knowing, Bangkok Dangerous and Ghost Rider. Adaptation a few years back showed he could be good still but he seems entirely determined to prove that film wrong. He does have the curious Bad Lieutenant reimagining with Werner Herzog to come though, and I’ve have high hopes for a truly ridiculous performance from him in that one.
Bellucci is to play his love interest in the film, a role which will surely require her to act to the fullest of her ability as Cage does his thing in scenes with her.
The story itself is reportedly based on a section of Fantasia, the surreal Disney musical from 1940, and the elements of that film which concerned Mickey Mouse. The film is due to come out next year on the same weekend as Christopher Nolan’s Inception, surely a chance for people to measure up the relative box-office draws of Nolan and Cage.
Knowing, the new Nicolas Cage film, a genre in itself these days, reigned supreme at the US box-office over the weekend, racking up an impressive $24.8m over the three days. This was enough to knock I Love You, Man into second, taking a slightly disappointing $18m with Duplicity, the return of Julia Roberts (although she kind of returned with Charlie Wilson’s War a little way back), was another disappointment, taking only $14.4m despite relatively good reviews. This has prompted a few commentators to question the bankability of Roberts in the modern day.
Outside of that, Race to Witch Mountain slightly under half in its second week to $13m with Watchmen propping up the top five with $6.7m. It means the total gross of the latter currently remains under $100m for its domestic take.