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Razzies Thoughts…

It’s only fair to talk about another awards ceremony at this time of year, one which has managed to maintain its staunch anti-commercial stance and has never sacrificed its history to allow higher-grossing films into its top categories. This is partly because the films which tend to get given Razzies are often seen by millions of foolish people, a pattern which dictates future movie release schedules and therefore repeats the feat, making more bad movies which more people see and therefore perpetuating the need for the Razzies.

This year’s bunch, in full here, are particularly righteous, with Land of the Lost and Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen leading the ignominious. So, a few bulleted thoughts on the nominations:

  • Sandra Bullock ‘does and Eddie Murphy’ and gets nods for Best Actress at both The Oscars and The Razzies. She gets it here for All About Steve, a film which I have not seen but is purportedly so awful as to have made some member of the MOD’s extended family spew expletives beyond the recognition of well-bred English-speaking people. Whether this nod will hurt her chances for winning for The Blind Side, as I would suggest Norbit did for Murphy when he got his Dreamgirls nod, remains to be seen.
  • Nice barbed stab at The Jonas Brothers as Worst Actors. A band which appears to be attempting to disseminate abstinence-only teachings to your children, a tactic which will only end in massive number of underage pregnancies amongst fans of the stupifyingly pointless band, deserve to be kicked, beaten and knocked down at every possible point.
  • Shia LeBoeuf and Megan Fox for Worst Couple is perfect. The entire pair of those films looks as though he is frightened to touch her for fear of having his hands smeared in sweat-ravaged fake tan or the germs of other men. Her nod for worst actress though perhaps should be paired with her comically inept performance in Jennifer’s Body, in which she mistakes ‘sexy’ for ‘late-80s New York hooker’.
  • Also, praise to the board for the dumps taken on Hugh Hefner, Billy Ray Cyrus, Miley Cyrus and Steve Martin, on of whom can do better and the rest of which should be consigned to a dumpster to live in shame.

As it’s the end of the decade, they’ve also released their nominations for Film, Actor and Actress of the Decade, worst that is. My predictions and views are below.

  • Picture: I think Battlefield Earth may have to take it on this one, though the competition is tough. I Know Who Killed Me probably didn’t offend enough people to take the prize, but Gigli is a worthy challenger. Freddy Got Fingered probably has too many dumb revisionist cult movie fans to win this one.
  • Actor: Travolta and Murphy will battle it out for Worst Actor. The nod for Myers is absolutely right, especially after he attempted to shit on Inglourious Basterds this year, as if he had yet to destroy enough over the past ten years. Affleck been okay in some stuff so doesn’t really deserve it and Rob Schneider, everyone just wants to forget about Rob Schneider.
  • Actress: For Worst Actress, Madonna has always been terrible but she may not have done enough to earn the title. Lohan has Mean Girls to prevent her dropping in to the race. Gigli places Lopez in a strong position to win while Carey has had Precious to redeem her a little. So it has to be Hilton, an STD which has blighted cinema for ten years now and should be deservedly eviscerated.

Wolverine Takes Bite of UK Box-Office Too

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine followed its super-sized bow in the US with a chunky haul in the UK too, taking £6.6m during its first five days on release. It meant Miley Cyrus and her Hannah Montana: The Movie had to settle for second, despite the youngster’s publicity wave throughout the week trying to promote the film.

Hannah Montana took a solid £2.03m to finish in second, over double the take of previous number one State of Play, taking £0.98m to just nip in ahead of Matthew McConaughey and his Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.

Zac Efron clung onto fifth with 17 Again, followed up by Monsters vs Aliens, Fast & Furious, I Love You, Man, In The Loop and The Uninvited to round out the top ten.

The only disappointment of the week was the £123,309 taken by Is Anybody There?, the new film from Sir Michael Caine.

It’s likely Wolverine’s time at the top will be obliterated in the coming week with the release of Star Trek but, after a very troubled route to cinemas, this one really did some solid business, as can be shown from the ridiculous number of further X-Men projects now being flung into development.

Many Obsessed With Beyonce

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Beyonce Knowles-starring thriller Obsessed has taken a pretty impressive $28.5m over its opening weekend to top the US charts. The movie, which also stars The Wire’s Idris Elba and Heroes’ Ali Larter, took the second biggest opening for a Screen Gems movie ever, only defeated by the Exorcism of Emily Rose in 2005. It’s a pretty astonishingly high opening, probably a testament to the star power of Knowles in ostensibly her second profession.

Zac Efron’s 17 Again managed to remain relatively resilient in second place with $11.7m, a respectable second week total which allowed it just to pip the Channing Tatum-starring Fighting. That managed $11.4m to come in well above expectations for a minimum star movie.

That contrasted to the film in fourth place, Joe Wright’s The Soloist with Robert Downey Jr and Jamie Foxx. It seems that, unlike Knowles, the star power of Downey Jr doesn’t quite stretch across audiences to bring his Iron Man muscle to the film. It could also have been hurt by Jamie Foxx’s idiocy over the past week or so in insulting Disney star Miley Cyrus in such a childish and twattish manner. Mum’s don’t like stars who have a go at youngers, Jamie.

A notable entry in fifth came to Earth, the first film to come from the newly-formed Disneynature subsidiary of the Mouse House. It managed $8.6m over the weekend, the third best ever for a documentary, with a five-day gross of $14.2m.

Zefron Age Swaps to the Top

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17 Again has managed to top the US box office over the weekend, racking up a total of $24m as Zac Efron carried his HSM box-office power over into the adult world.

It’s opening is small but it still managed to trounce the next closest film, the Russell Crowe-Ben Affleck thriller State of Play. That only managed $14m despite relatively decent reviews.

Monsters vs Aliens remained resilient in third place, taking $12.9m and pumping its total gross to $162m. That contrasted to the relative lack of resilience from last week’s number one, Hannah Montana: The Movie, which dropped off 60 per cent to take $12.6m, and Fast & Furious dropping of further to $12.2m.

Crank: High Voltage must be considered a disappointment, given the absolute genius of the first film, taking only $6.5m to take up sixth place.

Round Up: Barrymore and Long to Go Distance

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Drew Barrymore is to star alongside former/possibly still paramour Justin Long in Going the Distance, being directed by American Teen’s Nanette Burstein.

Kevin MacDonald is to direct the Roman military drama The Eagle of the Ninth.

Vin Diesel has explained his thinking behind turning down Daredevil and his ambitions to create his own superhero movies.

Tween poppet and hick-superstar Miley Cyrus has been signed to star in The Last Song, a novel/screenplay hybrid thing from Notebook author Nicholas Sparks.

People in the UK! A chance to see the brilliant Let the Right One In is available to you.