Tag Archives: cirque du freak vampire’s assistant

DVDs This Week – 01/03/10

Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant
A watchable but not great film adapted from Darren Shan’s series of books. Starring John C. Reilly (Talladega Nights and Step Brothers) and the relatively unknown Chris Massaglia. There is a shortage of quality laughs, but possibly redeemable just by seeing Salma Hayek as a bearded woman. Maybe more of a rental watch more than one to buy on release day.

Triangle
A fantastic film  directed by Christopher Smith (Severance and Creep, 2 cracking films). It works because it veers towards cliche at times then sidesteps them at  the last second. While the twist at the end is very predictable, the acting is solid (especially Melissa George) and the  multi-layered story is excellent. I thoroughly recommend it and look forward to Smith’s next film, Black Death.

Ghosthunting with McFly
I had to put this up as a featured release just because how I imagine this in my head is a hundred times better than the reality of this pile of trash. While not having watched this if it is anything like how I imagine it it will be the story of Ghostbusters 2 with McFly with Dr Poha played by Chris De Burgh.

Chaw
I managed to catch this movie last year at the Leeds Film Festival. I looked forward to it based on the premise alone – a korean movie about a town being attacked by a giant wild boar. Unfortunately, it doesn’t live up to the premise as it is a Sci-Fi Channel-quality style of film, but there quite a lot of people who will like this film simply because it is Asian cinema and give it a bit of leeway in it’s rubbishness. I am a fan of a lot of Asian cinema, but I would like to think I know a bad film when I see one. The film is all over the place in terms of tone, has no real characters to connect with and has a terrible CGI monster . Once again it was possibly a greater idea in theory than in practice.

Seventh Moon
This is another film I managed to see at the Leeds Film Festival at a horror movie night. Now from these two reviews of DVDs I don’t want you to think the festival was only full of rubbish movies, I had some fantastic films – Dr S Battles the Sex Crazed Reefer Zombies, Cold Souls, A Thousand Oceans, The Bunny and the Bull and loads more), unfortunately Seventh Moon isn’t one of those. This was one of my weirdest cinema experiences ever. First up the film is bad, and I don’t mean watchable bad, or “some good performances but just fails in some parts” bad, I mean “a film devoid of anything good at all” bad. It was made by the one of the directors of the Blair Witch Project, who has now decided that a horror film doesn’t need tension, good acting, a decent script or good framing. In some parts the film is so dark that you can’t see ANYTHING and just have to depend on the sound to get some idea of what is going on. But that wasn’t where the strangeness started. After the film, there was a Q&A session with the producer of the movie. It was like car crash entertainment, this man had no idea of the onslaught he was about to get. Some of the genuine questions asked to him were “What was the point of that film?” and “Did you think about hiring lead characters who had some hint of chemistry?”. It got so bad that the organisers of the event had to offer a prize to a person asking a genuine question and not criticism.

Also out this week: Survivors: Series 1 & 2 box set – When Comedy Was King – Cash – Zombeak – Miss March