The Movie Overdose Presents: Primer

mod presents

This week we debate the merits of remaking my favourite film of all time, Primer…

Tom: we’ll do Primer next
all 6 versions of the protagonist fight through time
15 minutes
16:12
me: they’ll fight the other guy
heavily outnumbered
7 to 6
Tom: dont worry. the outnumbered guy went back to prehistoric time and stole a T-Rex egg
16:13
he reared it for many years, and rides it with a staddle
me: what does that do?
what’s a staddle?
Tom: saddle
16:15
me: oh
Tom: like dinoriders
me: that makes sense now
16:16
maybe each one of the 6 Aarons could get an awesome weapon from different eras
like a trebuchet
and a howitzer
16:17
also, Abe has been recast with Wesley Snipes
16:19
Tom: i love it
16:20
‘Your TIME has run out Abe’ Aaron shoots Abe with a blunderbuss
16:21
lots of time puns
‘You’re LATE for your funeral’
16:22
me: early to bed, early to die
16:23
Tom: we might have to steal from The Fly, and have some creature get in the box while Abe is travelling
ABEetle
16:26
me: that’s so crushingly lame it could work
16:27
somewhere along the line aaron becomes a woman
16:28
Tom: who gives birth to the original Aaron
creating the ultimate paradox
16:32
me: which the movie then proceeds to never address again
close-up shot of Willem Defoe screaming
16:35
Tom: the sequel can be called Primers, and is set in a dystopic future, where everyone carries around a time travelling box
5 minutes
16:41
me: box? too unwieldy. in the future everyone carries around a metal sash
16:42
Tom: except one unassuming character who can travel through time at will and is the chosen one
he is THE PRIMER!!!
and wears black glasses and a long leather coat to prove this
16:46
me: he wears it because it was the first coat ever given to him (by himself from the future)
16:49
some terrible symbolism in there: first coat, primer, paint
i think i’m falling out of love with this project
16:50
Tom: you could say it’s before its time
16:54
me: time to call it a day

Tom: we’ll do Primer next

all 6 versions of the protagonist fight through time

15 minutes

John: they’ll fight the other guy

heavily outnumbered

7 to 6

Tom: dont worry. the outnumbered guy went back to prehistoric time and stole a T-Rex egg

he reared it for many years, and rides it with a saddle

like dinoriders

John: maybe each one of the 6 Aarons could get an awesome weapon from different eras

like a trebuchet

and a howitzer

also, Abe has been recast with Wesley Snipes

Tom: i love it

‘Your TIME has run out Abe’ Aaron shoots Abe with a blunderbuss

lots of time puns

‘You’re LATE for your funeral’

John: early to bed, early to die

Tom: we might have to steal from The Fly, and have some creature get in the box while Abe is travelling

ABEetle

John: that’s so crushingly lame it could work

somewhere along the line aaron becomes a woman

Tom: who gives birth to the original Aaron

creating the ultimate paradox

John: which the movie then proceeds to never address again

close-up shot of Willem Defoe screaming

Tom: the sequel can be called Primers, and is set in a dystopic future, where everyone carries around a time travelling box

John: box? too unwieldy. in the future everyone carries around a metal sash

Tom: except one unassuming character who can travel through time at will and is the chosen one

he is THE PRIMER!!!

and wears black glasses and a long leather coat to prove this

John: he wears it because it was the first coat ever given to him (by himself from the future)

some terrible symbolism in there: first coat, primer, paint

i think i’m falling out of love with this project

Tom: you could say it’s before its time

John: time to call it a day

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